proud of my man

well our motorcycle shop has been open around a couple of months now. it is going
quite well. patrick is doing a great job keeping it going. i am very proud of him.
he is so much happier too. we celebrated our 2yr anniversary on 8july. he is my
best friend, lover, and everything else in my life.

patricks motorcycle upset

as you know it was such a beautiful day just a short 2wks ago, one day of 65. so i called ahead to patrick from work, and said to GET OUT THE BIKES, ITS 65, AND WE GOTTA RIDE!!!! i was so excited. got home, patrick said we were going to drop of lil patrick and go on a date. i was psyched. we havent been alone in awhile. so on our way out i stop at the stop sign behind a car, and all i hear behind me is a sickening screech and see a motorcycle fly by me on the left, with no riders. both patricks were on the ground several yards behind me. they were going less than 15mph, and hit gravel.  i didnt even put my kick stand down(i forgot i had one) left my bike running and thru it down and ran over to them. by then there were several people on scene. it was end of day traffic. they were both moaning. lil patrick landed on his right thigh and hand. big pat landed on his upper right side hard. he was c/o shortness of breath and rib pain. lil pat was c/o thigh and hand pain. his hand looked pretty messed up. so many people showed up. my girlfriend from work was driving by and saw my motorcycle laying in the road. i was soooo happy to see her. i needed something to focus on besides my family moaning in the road. i couldnt do anything at the moment and felt helpless. 2 ambulances showed up. my very nice neighbor stopped and picked up my bike and took it home to the garage. our motorcycle repair guys came and got patricks bike. we were very cared for. the EMS team were awesome. they really cared for my family. they kept me from losing my mind. my friend lisa took care of brittany and brought her to the ER. big patrick was in alot of pain, so they gave him medication. they were both xrayed, and nothing was broken. THANK YOU GOD!!!! alot of bruising. they both left on 2 feet. lil patrick has healed completely. big pat is still working on it. his ribs front and back are very sore. he has had some episodes of vomiting, coughing and sneezing, which has put him on his knees from pain. it has been stressful to watch him suffer and not be able to help. he will be ok eventually. god is good ALL THE TIME…

back to work

i really have to say it is good to be back to work today. i only work 2 days this week, but, i seriously needed a break from home. i am well rested, took lots of naps and ate alot.

its pretty quiet around here. had alot of cancellations and no shows. i hate the no shows, cuz there are too many people wanting an appt. i wont get into that, it aggravates me. getting off work in a few minutes, and patrick is waiting at home with the harleys at the ready. vroooommm, vrooommmm. see ya later…

too long around my kids

ok i have been with ALL my kids, 24-7 for over a week. OMG, i need a break. really, i love them, but, when your in the house together too long, and your husband is acting like a kid himself, i was  PMSing, family was here, how i held together i just dont know. oh wait, i did have a couple of melt downs. thank goodness for a bit of  lorazepam.

we did get out of the house yesterday. it was 65, cloudy and windy. we took our harleys out anyway. how invigorating. it felt so good, the wind, the speed, the engine underneath me, the smiles on our faces. getting out of the house. woohoo….

today it is raining and thundering. tornados are in the surrounding area. i am cozy, sitting here in my oversized lounge chair, my favorite cat simba behind my neck purring away. my little dog sasha sleeping on my leg. the beautiful christmas tree blinking. spirit fm in the back ground. this is contentment. this is my little slice of heaven.

my bro

i am happy to say i got to spend a whole week with my brother. he is 2yrs younger then me, and looks nothing like me. when we were growing up people used to think we were boyfriend and girlfriend. what a hoot. he is a wonderful, caring, handsome and loving guy. and girls he has a job!! that is a big thing these days. he recently aquired a girlfriend tho. he seems happy, and thats all i want for him. he has had a hard time of it. well not the whole time of course. no special person has made it into his life to comfort and love him. and believe me he is lovable. it looks like he has found someone, and i will pray it works for him. she seems to have alot in common with him. i only have one wish, that he gives his life to jesus.

he pretty muched dragged himself to church with us for candle light service christmas eve. he seems afraid, or maybe thinks lightening will hit him or something. not sure. i know he blames god for our parents death. i contiue to pray for him…i love him and i am afraid he wont make it to heaven, to reunite with my parents and me. its in gods hands

christmas was wonderful. we shared our home with friends and family. we shared our night with baby jesus. the night brought tears thinking of that little baby, so innocent, so loving. i would have loved to be there that night. thank you baby jesus, i love you. thank you for my family and friends.

the week with my bro and nephew went really fast. this was the first christmas in 25 yrs that we spent together. wow, and we sure did miss our parents. i hope to go to his house next christmas. god willing.

riding-free-leather

hopefully  we will be riding free in a few months with our new leather shop. patrick has had a dream of owning his own business. really he needs to, cuz he doesnt do well with authority figures.

anyway, things have been kinda just falling into place, without forcing it. alot of prayers have been said, it appears god is helping us make this work. patrick has been looking at different buildings that are for sale. some not so good, ,some way worse. even to the point of GROSS!!! 

this last place turned out to be the old dodge dealership that belongs to my ex father in law. he owns the building, and our motorcycle friends rent it. thats where we bought our harleys and our denali. they are so good to us. anything we need, we just have to ask. so they offered half of the storefront. its huge. our part will be about 37′ by 34′. lots of room for motorcycle accessories. it has 4 offices that will belong to us. plus storage area in the back where the garage bays are. its gods doing. an answer to our prayers. we dont have to ask for a huge loan now. thats a relief for me cuz i am the money girl. gotta handle all that. anyway yesterday my friend barb calls from springfield mall, to let us know that steve and barries is going out of business and they are selling all their cabinets, clothes hangers, etc… we raced down there and found to our delight that we can fill our whole store very inexpensively, with a beautiful shoe rack, cabinets, tables, nice clothes racks for our leathers, a really nice counter for our cash register and computer. we left there feeling very proud of ourselves. our loan is getting smaller..patrick has all our merchandise picked out, and has already contacted the distributers. hopefully by next week we will know if it will be a 100% go. it is really cool to see patrick happy like this. its been hard on him since losing his job. please pray for us. thank you, and love you…

windy weekend and decorations

the weekend was supposed to be 55 or 60 degrees. well it might have been if the wind wasn’t blowing 40mph. it blew constant for 3 days. we had to chase our porch furniture around the deck. wanted to ride my harley, been missing that badly, but, i would probably have been blown over.

we spent alot of time at home, decorating for Christmas. it is so cozy in our house i didn’t want to leave it today and go out into the wind again, and 12 degrees, and ice. but, you know work calls. patients come in no matter what the weather.

i love this time of year. yes even the cold weather. i love the music, the lights, all the festivities going on, and my church. the church is decorated in creams, greens, purples etc. it is so lovely, and commemorates our baby Jesus so beautifully. i look forward to candle light service christmas eve. the dim lights and the candles. my brother is coming from Georgia this weekend to celebrate christmas with us. he is bringing my nephew too. cant wait. keith and i are very close. we lost our parents a few years ago, and mourn them especially on christmas. they loved christmas. if you want to know how much read my blog “family christmas”. we havent been able to spend christmas together in many years so we are doing  it up right. just like my parents did. what a celebration that will be…merry CHRISTmas…love you all

my twins story continued

i am continuing the story of how the twins became mine. just look at my previous blog on my twins birthday for the start of their story.

their father was in rehab for 30days, and we ended up moving to boonville together, and got the twins back from their grandparents and ericka came from my moms home. i had a wonderful job as a visiting nurse, and he got a job at a car dealership. as you well know all good things must come to an end. the dealership found out he got a dui recently so he was fired. he ended up driving 2 hours back to where we used to live and working for his dad at HIS dealership. it was very hard on him, and we never got to see him. he went to meetings as often as he could and so did i. 6mo later we moved back to where we started. (i swore i would never go back). things were good. we bought a house, got the kids settled, and i got a job on post. we both continued our meetings. alanon helped me heal, so much that i was able to handle what would come into our life again.

we both made life long friends in our meetings, that stayed in my life thru all things up to the present time. thank you god for putting george, kat and kathy into our life..i love you guys…

ok, so a few years later, HE takes me to reno on a 3 day weekend, having a good time, and decides to drop the bombshell that he is drinking again. WHAT!! AFTER 3 YEARS OF SOBRIETY… OMG, I WAS DEVASTATED!! i knew what was coming. what was i gonna do? the kids? our life? it turned out to be a very long next few years. my children and i continued to attend alanon, and was very supported by my bff, and george,kat and kathy. they all saved my sanity, my spirituality and my life. HE made it into rehab again, twice, and cont to drink, graduating to cocaine, then meth. our life was hell. during it all my girls grandfather had a brain tumor and passed away. he was the twins biological mothers father. we were very close to him. on the day of his visitation, HE came home(after being gone for 2weeks), and announced that he was leaving me for another woman. oh really ? i guess he needed someone that allowed him to drink and drug freely. wow, what a day that was. i was so devastated that he actually had someone on the side and slept with me(it had been awhile though), ugggg, i was so grossed out. OMG, he could have given me something. (had tests done, all was clear, thank you god.) he then informed me he was taking his girlfriend and his twins to florida to live, to get away from me, cuz i was making life hell for him. really??

the next day was grandpas funeral. everyone was there, and of course the twins mom shows up too. HE kept us pretty much apart with untruths. she only lived 2 hrs away, but, HE never let her visit the twins. it gave her and i a chance to get together and compare notes so to speak. i learned alot that day from her, and she learned alot from me. our whole marriage started on a lie. she thanked me for taking such good care of the twins. we both cried alot that day, not only for the loss of her dad, but, for the loss of parts of our life because of one persons selfishness. we were all a mess, me, the kids, her, the grandparents. ( to be continued)…

the trials of my oldest

ugggg, ericka again. yes its about my oldest. she has made a shambles out of her life. we tried to put her on the right path, teaching her all about our experiences. but, like i did, she has to go her own path. as i said before she is pregnant, lives with an army guy who has ptsd, and drinks alot. he is on meds but doesnt take them. so he is easily set off. its sad really, he is very sweet, caring, great looking, and has alot going for him. he chooses to go the wrong path. on his chest he wears the large face of the devil with teeth bared, and eyes shooting fire. the first time, (and the only time) i saw this was in our pool. it really scared me. i felt alot of evil. ericka even found a satanic bible in his vehicle. hello………………wake up!!! so she goes and quits a good job here, leaves her own apartment, and goes to colorado with him. she has been miserable since. i have learned to detach with love from her a few years prior due to her lying habit. i dont go out of my way to save her. so now we bring a little innocent by stander into the picture. she is coming home in february to live with us while he goes to iraq. our family has very mixed feelings about this. she causes alot of ruckus in our house. she will have rules thats for sure. we are all set in our ways, and of course if she cant handle it, then there is the door. dont get me wrong, i love my daughter, she has always been a challenge. her and i have made it thru very tough times together, and she has the tools to take the right path. hopefully someday she will use them. will keep you updated.

sick days

i want to start out by saying i had a blast with my bff and her family last weekend. my family really enjoyed themselves. you can view the fun pictures on her weblog. www.sweetiegirlz.wordpress.com,. go ahead take a look..

more on that later. not feeling too good today to write much. i got home sunday and went straight to bed with a sinus headache out of this universe. sneezing, coughing, the works. i was beat down hard. i am whining on blog because i can. i havent been sick in years. so i am mad…missed work monday, dragged thru yesterday, dragging thru today, feeling worse, cant wait to go to bed. a patient just told me how good i looked today. yea right, he must be needin glasses. i feel like i have a hangover without having had the fun…